• Emotion Regulation: What is it?

    Emotion regulation has TWO main purposes:

    1. Identify our feelings.
    2. Understand why our feelings happen

    This allows us to start to be able to positively influence our emotions and get “unstuck” from negative patterns.

     

    We can also work on changing our relationship to our emotions. Instead of fighting, avoiding, or attempting to get rid of negative emotions we can begin to accept them and try to understand the messages they are trying to tell us. This allows us to be mindful of our emotions and not add to our distress or suffering. Only then can we start to own our emotions and practice better self-care and boundary setting skills.

     

    Emotion Regulation allows us to:

    1. BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND OUR EMOTIONS: Identify and describe how we feel emotions and understand our triggers
    2. REDUCE EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY: Decrease negative vulnerability to emotion mind and increase positive emotions
    3. DECREASE EMOTIONAL SUFFERING: Let go of painful emotions and change negative emotions through opposite action

    THE GOAL IS TO REDUCE EMOTIONAL SUFFERING, NOT TO GET RID OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS.

  • What do your emotions do for you?

    EMOTIONS MOTIVATE AND ORGANIZE US FOR ACTION

    • They motivate our behavior and prep us for action and doing
    • Emotions save us time in reacting to important situations
    • They also help us overcome obstacles in our mind and our environment

    EMOTIONS COMMUNICATE TO AND INFLUENCE OTHERS

    • Studies show that only 7% of communication is the words that you say. While 38% is through vocal elements, including tone and inflection. The majority of communication is through nonverbal, which accounts for 55% of our communication and includes facial expressions, gestures, posture, and body language.
    • When we need to communicate to others, it can be hard to change or control our emotions
    • Our communication, no matter how we do it, influences the emotions and actions of others

    EMOTIONS COMMUNICATE INFORMATION TO OURSELVES

    • They give us important information about events and situations
    • Sometimes we can treat our emotions as facts about the worldcontrol our emotions
    • For example: If I feel confident about something, it is right. If I am afraid, there must be danger.
    • If we assume our emotions are facts, we can use them to justify our thoughts and actions. This can cause major problems if we ignore the facts in the situation.

  • Model for Describing Emotions

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    EVENT: All emotions start here with a “triggering” or prompting event. This can be internal (inside of our minds and bodies) or external (in our environment).

     

    INTERPRETATION: How we interpret an event can have tremendous influence on what we feel. This is what we thinkabout the situation. We may often only see our way and not others’ perspectives, which can cause conflict. We can also place judgment o the situation which causes extreme emotional responses.

     

    FEELING: Our thoughts or interpretations cause us to feel our emotion. When we have an emotional response mentally, we also have a physical reaction within our bodies. Notice your muscles, heart rate, or body temperature as well as your posture, expressions, and gestures. It is also important to look at possible deeper feelings. For example, feeling hurt might underlie anger or shame might underlie depression. Getting to the core of our emotions helps us to increase our understanding of them and why we feel them.

     

    ACTION URGE/ACTION: What is your emotion pulling you to do? Or are you already doing it? Are your actions positive or negative? Are the benefitting or harming you? This is where we can start to act in ways that do not benefit us or our greater good. We have to focus more on responding instead of reacting.

     

    RESULTS: What came out of the event, your emotions, and your action? Were there any consequences? This is the time to evaluate what worked and what didn’t. We can learn from our experiences and influence how we respond in the future.

  • ABC's of DBT

    ACCUMULATING POSITIVE EMOTIONS

    In the short term, to help build positive emotions NOW!

    • Build positive experiences NOW!: Make a list of activities that make you feel good and do one of these things daily – no matter how small 
    • Avoid avoiding ALL of your emotions: FEEL ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS! The GOOD and the BAD! 
    • Be mindful of positive experiences and FOCUS on these moments as they are happening
    • ENGAGE fully in each experience
    • Be unmindful of worries: Don’t think about when the experience will end or even if you deserve this experience or even what will be expected of you next

    In the long term, to help build a life worth living!

    • Avoid avoiding – do what is needed RIGHT NOW! 
    • Identify your important values – what matters to YOU in YOUR life?
    • Pick one value to work on RIGHT NOW!
    • Identify goals related to this value – how can you make this part of your life?
    • Choose one goal to work on RIGHT NOW! 
    • Identify small action steps towards your goal 
    • Take one action step now!

    BUILDING MASTERY

    • Plan on doing one thing everyday to build accomplishment 
    • Plan for success, not failure
    • Gradually increase difficulty over time
    • Look for a challenge

    COPE AHEAD FOR CHALLENGING SITUATIONS

    • Describe the event that might trigger difficult emotions a.Check the facts and name the emotions that might arise
    • Decide how to cope with the situation and what skills you will use and write your plan out in detail
    • Imagine the situation as if you are IN IT RIGHT NOW! 
    • Rehearse in your mind coping effectively
    • Review what skills you would use, what you might say and do, how you will handle new problems, and how you will handle your biggest fear or catastrophe
    • Practice relaxation after rehearsing

  • PLEASED: Reducing Emotional Vulnerability

    Check in with yourself in the following categories to reduce emotional suffering

    PHYSICAL HEALTH

    How is your body feeling? Have you had a recent check- up with your doctor? Are you feeling sick? Are you taking your medications as prescribed? Your physical health can drastically impact your physical and emotional health which can affect how you respond and react to situations and events.

    LIST OF RESOURCES, SUPPORTS, AND BARRIERS TO FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH SKILLS

    Keep a list of skills you know work for you best with you at all times. Also keep contact info for your primary supports. In a crisis, we may not be able to think clearly so having these lists can be a helpful reminder of what to do and who to call. We can also identify barriers that might prevent us from following through and plan how to overcome them.

    EAT BALANCED MEALS

    This is vitally important to staying in control during stressful or emotional situations. Having balanced meals and snacks throughout the day will help keep your mind and body nourished and in check so you can have a clear head and make decisions easier and respond effectively when needed.

    AVOID DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

    These substances can cause you to be more emotional and act more impulsively which could result in even larger problems and issues. They can negatively impact your relationships, job, and finances, as well as your physical and emotional well-being They can also result in dependence or addiction which would require additional support and professional help.

    SLEEP BETWEEN 7 TO 10 HOURS

    This is one of the most important things you can do for yourself to regulate your moods. Find the amount that S works for you. Track your sleep, at least for a few weeks, and note your mood as well as other factors that impact your quality of sleep. There are numerous apps for electronic devices that will help you in doing this.

    EXERCISE BETWEEN 20 TO 60 MINUTES

    Do this 3 to 5 times per week. This will help to relieve stress, sleep better, and improve overall health, both mentally and physically. Find a movement routine that works for your life and schedule. Do what feels good!

    DO THESE CHECK INS DAILY

    All of these skills need to be done every day for maximum effectiveness in balancing and improving your mood stability. Keep a

    checklist with you to regularly check-in with yourself and your skills.

  • Letting Go of Emotional Suffering

    HOW DO WE REGULATE OUR EMOTIONS?

    • Understand the functions of our emotions and what they do for us
    • Reducing emotional vulnerability by increasing positive emotions & experiences 
    • Decreasing suffering by letting go of pain & changing painful emotions

    HOW DO WE DO THIS?

    RIDE THE WAVE OF EMOTIONS

    Mindfulness of emotions is about observing and describing the emotions without judgement. You need to distance yourself from the emotion in order to do this. “Step outside your box!” Note that it is there, step back, and get unstuck from the emotion. Experience it like a wave, coming and going. Don’t try to ignore it or get rid of it or hold on to it or amplify it. Just experience it as a wave of the ocean. Coming and going. The more mindful you are to your painful emotions, the more you expose yourself to difficult things.

     

    MORE EXPOSURE = LESS FEAR, LESS FEAR = LESS ANGER & PANIC

     

    LETTING GO

    Letting go of an emotion, person, or event is allowing that thing to leave you without attachment. You are not your emotion and you don’t have to act on it. There are times when you have felt different. Letting go is like an egg frying on a Teflon pan. It will slide right off with no trouble. No pushing or pulling. If you cook an egg on a grill, it will stick to the bars of the grill and fall through.

     

    ACCEPTANCE

    Acceptance is freedom from suffering. Acceptance does not mean approval. Life is going to have rough times! Life will throw us curve balls! Sometimes acceptance can help us reduce our pain and suffering. If we fight back, we stay stuck in the pain. Don’t judge what you are feeling. Just feel it and be willing to experience it.

  • Use of information for this site

    This website is intended for information and educational purposes only. No information presented is intended for counseling or treatment. Use of this website does not form a counseling relationship. For more information please contact me at blair@helpwithdbt.com

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